Saturday, April 20, 2013

Update on Life

I know. Trust me. But I'm working on it (as always.)

Here's a bit of what's been going on in our lives:

I'm down 25lbs! I'm kind of at a plateau right now which is really, really disappointing. I have been slacking on putting everything into MFP but I'm definitely keeping a close eye on what goes into my body. Hubby is down 10lbs! I'm so proud of him!

And he's been in town! No traveling for the past month! We're hoping it stays like this. We've really been enjoying the time together!

Work has been kind of stressful. I'm grateful for my job, don't get me wrong. I truly, truly feel blessed to be able to pay our bills (even if it's by the skin of our teeth some months!) but these past few months have left me exhausted and desperately in need of a vacation! Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until July for that. Haha. Oh, well! I'm pretty sure I'll make it.

Speaking of stressful... Baby-making has been just that. Lots of false hope and disappointment. Finally I went to my OB/GYN about our lack of progress. He prescribed me Clomid .I've read so many things online (maybe too much) about Clomid & its side effects. I've read message board after message board about other women's experiences with it. I've scoured every "getting pregnant" site I could find for success stories. It's all so nerve wracking. I'm super, super, SUPER nervous but trying as hard as I possibly can to be optimistic about this. Andrew said he has a good feeling about this. I'm just so tired of getting my hopes up only to have my heart broken by this process.  I never imagined we'd have difficulty getting pregnant. It was just kind of assumed that when we were ready, it would just happen. We're young, we're healthy... How could we ever have prepared ourselves for infertility?

And that word. Infertility. Ugh. At the doctors yesterday I couldn't get away from that word.
"What are you coming in for?"
"My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant with no luck."

He takes his pen & writes "infertility" in his notes. He hands me a pamphlet with "Infertility" in the title. He keeps saying it over & over & over. One of the nurses told me "Struggling with infertility is tough." I HATE that word.

But, I digress.

I start Clomid Monday.I'm PRAYING that just 1 cycle of 50mg will be all it takes! I can't wait to be pregnant, to FINALLY see that double pink like, to re-do the spare room into a nursery. I can't wait to pick out names & see the beautiful flicker of our child's heartbeat on the screen of an ultrasound machine. I can't wait to tell our families, to see my dad's reaction, my mother-in-law's inevitable tears of joy. I'm SO looking forward to finding out whether we're having a boy or girl at a gender reveal party that would make my Pinterest proud....complete with color-coordinated party decor. But more than ANY of that... The image in my head that keeps me going through this... To lay in my hospital bed, exhausted, sore, blissfully happy... watching my incredible, amazing husband gazing down into the face of OUR son or daughter....To see the love in his eyes, the father in him. I just know this will all be worth it. I know we will have a baby. This is going to be it. I just know it.

And that's all I've got for now. :)