Sunday, January 13, 2013

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Weekends with my husband are my favorite thing in the entire world. I LOVE being able to spend so much quality, uninterrupted time with him. Weekends lately have become the time when we reconnect after weekdays apart.

Like I've mentioned, our wedding was October 20th 2012. Shortly after we returned from our honeymoon, Andrew's job started sending him to Watertown (which is about 5 hours away from home) pretty much every week. He comes home Thursday nights & while we've always cherished our time together, it's MUCH more important to us now.

Being home alone Monday-Thursday has been absolutely awful. I miss my husband so, so much & there's nothing worse than coming home to a lonely dark house, eating dinner by myself and sleeping alone. I just miss him so unbearably much some nights. When he comes home it's hard for us to get back into a routine. He literally lives out of his suitcase the majority of the time and I feel terrible for him. I know he wants to settle in, take his clothes out of the luggage and spend the night in his own bed. I keep reminding myself that as upset as I am, he's the one who is not only upset, but completely uprooted from his home, his family and everything he's familiar with on a weekly basis.

It's been a long couple of months for us. I've been so bitter because I'd dreamed of our first year of marriage and it was nothing at all like this. Andrew and I have always been (almost annoyingly) in that honeymoon stage of our relationship. We're super affectionate & we're open with how much we love each other. I guess I just saw our first year of marriage being filled with passion and romance and together time. Not so far. We're apart so much more than I could have ever expected.   It's taken 3 months, but I've learned some serious lessons about marriage through this whole situation.

1) We are in this together. It's us against the world and everyone and everything that pushes back is just minor in comparison with what we have established as couple. This is just a bump in the road. A bad situation does not mean life has to be bad or a relationship has to struggle. Our goal is to come out of this stronger, more established as a couple.

2) When times get tough, it's time to get tougher... But not on each other. Since Andrew is gone the majority of the week, most of the household responsibilities fall on me. When he comes home, he's so whipped from a long work week and just wants to relax. Since he's always got a 4 day weekend and I'm always working Friday, I just expect that on Fridays he'll do dishes or some laundry or at least SOMETHING while I'm at work. It's overwhelming for me too when he's gone. So, when I come home Friday evenings to the house looking just as I left it, I'm annoyed and angry at him. What I'm learning is that my husband, who normally has no problem helping around the house, needs time to unwind, to get back into the swing of being home. Don't expect much from him on Fridays. Let him relax.

3) Don't get too used to him being gone. -- As much as I want my husband home, I'm totally guilty of getting too used to being home alone. I come home at night, cook dinner for one, eat it in front of the television while on Pinterest. Go to bed whenever I want. Hog all the covers. Watch whatever I want on TV... When Andrew comes home and unintentionally interupts my little routine I'm almost irritated. I have this mentality that "This is what I always do." and I need to get off it. The way I do things when he's gone is not the routine I want to stick to. I love being able to cook for the two of us, eat it at the dinner table, keep the laptop off and cuddle on the couch to a movie, snuggle close in bed, watch some of his crazy shows on The History Channel. It's just a change.

4) I'm more capable of doing things on my own than I ever expected. -- Taking out the garbage? Yep. Scooping the crap out of the litterbox? No problem. The cable stops working? I'm calling the cable company. I'm able to run this household on my own. Cook, clean, fix things, maintain it. Who knew? Even though I love having my husband's help, it's SO nice to know that I can do things on my own as well.

He's home this coming week (thank goodness!) but he leaves again the week after. More lessons will be learned, I'm sure. But for now, I'm going to enjoy our week together. :)

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