Basically, I've been having a hard time coping with life these days. A lot of it is a bad attitude & I know that's my own issue to fix. But, it's also been a pretty rough winter. I've been focusing a lot of energy into turning my attitude around & focusing on my blessings. It hasn't been easy but I really feel as though I'm on the other side of it. First on my list, get back into blogging!
Without re-reading all the entries I've made so far to confirm this, I'm going to assume that I haven't mentioned how much I've always loved writing. As a child & as a teenager I consistently kept diaries jam-packed with my thoughts & ideas, my opinions & random happenings in my day-to-day life. As an adult I enjoy reading them back... Even the tough entries give me a lot of perspective into what made me who I am today. I truly think that kind of self-reflection is important in personal growth. I'm striving to overcome my struggles. I am & have always been stronger than any adversity I've faced. It's nice to be reminded.
Nowadays it's harder to find the time, the motivation & the inspiration to write. My thoughts are more scattered, but much more repetitive & because of this, seemingly lacking of interest. My work, bills & the challenges of my daily life block that imaginative, inventive part of my brain that used to nearly consume me day & night. I used to lose sleep just writing poems, nurturing my craziest thoughts, ideas, dreaming up stories, asking questions, seeking answers, researching, wondering, dreaming... I don't do that anymore. I really, really, REALLY want to start again. (Not the losing sleep part.)
In conclusion, I'm going to seriously, honestly try to blog more often. No pressure. Just gotta let it flow.
Quick catch up of the last few months.
1) Andrew started his apprenticeship! It's going to be a lot of work for him over the next 5 semesters, but he is SUCH a hard worker. I'm so inspired by his determination & his work ethic. God could not have blessed me with a more incredible man as my partner. Even though he's had crazy amounts of homework & on Thursdays & Fridays he works 8+ hours & then goes to school for 4 more hours, he's never complained. I just... I can't even stress how amazing this man is. I love him so unbelievably much.
2) It has been the worst winter ever. Buffalo had 2 blizzards. Both of which were terrible. M&T has had "snow days" but this winter I've been let out twice for inclement weather. The crazy amounts of snow, the sub-zero temperatures & the dark, grey days have just been the worst. I'm so glad spring is FINALLY starting... Even if as recently as Sunday we had a snow storm (10 inches of snow!) I'm cautiously optimistic that we've passed the worst of it. Let spring begin! (...Please!)
3) We started fertility drugs again in October. Not so much luck this time. Actually, no luck at all. After many tests, ultrasounds & 6 months of disappointments & bad news, we've decided it is time for a break. The effects of the drugs coupled with the stress & pressure of wanting to be pregnant month after month has taken it's toll on me mentally & physically. It's definitely time to focus on getting healthy again, spending time together & just enjoying the summer.
Other than that, we've just been trying to spend quality time together in between all our crazy obligations & our crazy schedules. We're trying to eat healthier & make better choices health-wise. We joined a gym. I'm back to my green smoothies & Andrew is on board this time!
My best friend came home for Christmas! So naturally a night out was in order. I also went through a red lipstick phase. I guess I'm still kinda going through a red lipstick phase... I decorated my husband's Christmas presents with construction paper & I put my Christmas tree up the first weekend in November. Uh. I think that's all.
Also in December, I got to become a godmother for the first time! My cousin's sweet, sweet little boy was baptized on December 8th & the asked me to be his godmother! Literally. Best thing ever! He's such a little cutie & I just love him so much! I also get to babysit on a regular basis which, c'mon. It's just too much fun! I look forward to watching Korben grow & learn. I LOVE getting to be involved in his life & I'm so honored to be selected to be a special influence in this wonderful little guy's life! Such an exciting, amazing experience!
Valentine's Day! My hubby & I had a really nice steak dinner. It was a late steak dinner because Andrew had school until 9... But it was nice anyway! We celebrated in a restaurant on Saturday, 2/15. It was nice to actually have Andrew home for V-Day this year! He was in Watertown last year. That sucked.
Okay. That's pretty much all I've got for now. Hopefully I'll be updating again soon! :-)